After a deep and refreshing sleep, so rare and blessed for me, I am awakened at 7 a.m. to the chorus of sparrows heralding the morning as the dawning Sun peeps through the curtain into my bedroom. Instantly one of my favorite Nina Simone songs runs through my mind “Feeling Good”.
Birds flying high you know how I feel
Sun in the sky you know how I feel
Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel
It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life
And I’m feeling good
The song continues on “and this old world is a new world, and a bold world for me”.
I jump out of bed positively giddy. I can feel it deep down in my soul, in every fiber of my being—the very makeup of my DNA has changed, the old me is dead and gone and I’ve been made anew. Nothing in my life will ever be the same. I start the coffee brewing in my French press, jump in the shower, rushing to get dressed because this brave new me has to get out into this brave new world. I pour my coffee, grab my journal and pen, ready to enjoy this most awesome of spring mornings outdoors—only it’s suddenly dark, storm clouds have formed and in the next moment a torrential rainstorm has hit. And in the next moment my spirit is deflated. And in the next moment I’m crawling back into bed. I’m not surprised, I’ve been here before. I blast “Seven Devils” by Florence + the Machine—letting it play on a constant loop. Florence Welch wailing ” Seven devils all around you. I was dead when I woke up this morning”. Then she is singing “It’s an even song. It’s a melody. It’s a battle cry. It’s a symphony.” Suddenly I feel something drop into my spirit and it’s in that glorious moment I realize henceforward my life is changed forever because I am different. God’s grace covers me and grace means power, power to control my mind, my thoughts, my mood, my life. I turn off the music and instead listen to the battle cry, the symphony bursting out of me. The melody and the light. So much light shining forth.